September 24, 2021

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breaking news

Wife is Out of Town, Husband Tries to Masturbate Like a Teen Again!

Moe Lester 
June 24, 2021 

Marky Franklin’s wife is out of town.

She rarely goes out of town, but she will be gone for the next 5 days for business.

Marky has a sparkle in his eye.

In a few days, that sparkle will fizzle out and only shame, guilt and embarrassment will consume Marky.

Marky is no longer a teen, but he will try to crank them out like one.

His mind was running through thoughts of excitement that took over his body.

He thought, “Shall I try the vacuum cleaner?

Hmm, maybe i'll heat up a melon in the microwave...

Or maybe, I’ll just jack hammer away.”

Needless to say, he only enjoyed one night as he ended up injuring himself.

Marky was too embarrassed to mention his injury.

Platty's Editor Note: We had a test at medical school, on premature ejaculation. I came first.

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About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.