Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019


breaking news

Wife is Out of Town, Husband Tries to Masturbate Like a Teen Again!
Publish Date: November 10, 2019
Author: Moe Lester

Marky Franklin’s wife is out of town.

She rarely goes out of town, but she will be gone for the next 5 days for business.

Marky has a sparkle in his eye.

In a few days, that sparkle will fizzle out and only shame, guilt and embarrassment will consume Marky.

Marky is no longer a teen, but he will try to crank them out like one.

His mind was running through thoughts of excitement that took over his body.

He thought, “Shall I try the vacuum cleaner?

Hmm, maybe i'll heat up a melon in the microwave...

Or maybe, I’ll just jack hammer away.”

Needless to say, he only enjoyed one night as he ended up injuring himself.

Marky was too embarrassed to mention his injury.

Platty's Editor Note: We had a test at medical school, on premature ejaculation. I came first.

Other Titles by Moe Lester Released
Accept Tired of Having Their Balls to the Wall...Man! 10/03/19
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Dad Misses Yelling at His Kids Like He Did When They Were Younger! 12/05/19
Daughter Butchers Parents Portrait! 07/31/19
405 Days To Retirement, Asshole Upping His Asshole Game! 06/27/19
Food Network Presents: Beat Off Bobby Flay! 09/10/19
Hims Side Effect: Extra Arm Growth! 06/26/19
Hot Pockets Have 30% More Cheese! Brings Total To 30% Cheese! 09/01/19
Kinky American Diplomat Looking for Next Prisoner Swap! 12/08/19
Man Is on His 8th Attempt to Pick Up Piece of Paper Off the Floor! 08/12/19
Man Worries His Murder Won't Be Covered by Local News! 11/16/19
Man, Assplodes On Toilet Adjacent to Family Room During Prayer! 10/13/19
Man, Never Sees Wife After Bidet with Feminine Wash Installed! 07/16/19
Man’s Cheesy Meatballs Explode All Over Your Mom’s Grill! 09/02/19
Melania Confirms Presidential Load Lumpy Oily Cheese Sauce! 06/20/19
Mrs. Claus Gifted Pearl Necklace for Christmas! 12/01/19
President Nutted When Crowd Chanted 'Send Her Back!' 07/20/19
President Trump Wants to Show You His 'OH' Face! 11/24/19
Ross Perot Finally Fucking Finished! 07/10/19
Trump’s Air Emissions Panel Are Breathing Through Their Derriere! 09/21/19
White Deviant Sexual Predator Wishes Matt Lauer Was Back on The Today Show! 08/18/19
Wife is Out of Town, Husband Tries to Masturbate Like a Teen Again! 11/10/19

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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