Just put it on my bill.
December 11, 2019
This man loves his wood.
He loves his wood so much that he can be seen beating on it several times a day.
He loves the sounds when he smacks his wood with other pieces of wood.
There is a silly magical feeling when it all comes together.
He is a Xylophonist and he dreams of being in a metal band.
His friend plays the Glockenspiel and they are forming a band with his cousin who plays the Marimba.
This band will sound like utter shit.
They have ads around town looking for a drummer, bassist and guitar players to round out the band but have no interest from anyone so far.
Platty's Editor Note: How do you make a double bass sound in tune? Chop it up and make it into a xylophone. Everyone meet Oopsai Scharted!
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He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.
He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.
He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.