Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019


breaking news

Teenager Dreams of Becoming Xylophonist in Metal Band!
Publish Date: November 02, 2019
Author: Oopsai Scharted

This man loves his wood.

He loves his wood so much that he can be seen beating on it several times a day.

He loves the sounds when he smacks his wood with other pieces of wood.

There is a silly magical feeling when it all comes together.

He is a Xylophonist and he dreams of being in a metal band.

His friend plays the Glockenspiel and they are forming a band with his cousin who plays the Marimba.

This band will sound like utter shit.

They have ads around town looking for a drummer, bassist and guitar players to round out the band but have no interest from anyone so far.

Platty's Editor Note: How do you make a double bass sound in tune? Chop it up and make it into a xylophone. Everyone meet Oopsai Scharted!

 Audio Article

Other Titles by Oopsai Scharted Released
Man’s Best Is Shown When Shot Gunning A Beer! 12/08/19
Piss Jugs Remembered at Roadside Memorial! 11/13/19
Sewage Treatment Plant Preparing for The Days Following Thanksgiving! 11/28/19
Student Gets His Ass Kicked on Buddy Bench! 11/20/19
Teenager Dreams of Becoming Xylophonist in Metal Band! 11/02/19
White Man Finally Installs Button Under Desk That Locks His Office Door! 11/04/19

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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