May 29, 2020
Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!
Teenager Dreams of Becoming Xylophonist in Metal Band!
November 02, 2019
This man loves his wood.
He loves his wood so much that he can be seen beating on it several times a day.
He loves the sounds when he smacks his wood with other pieces of wood.
There is a silly magical feeling when it all comes together.
He is a Xylophonist and he dreams of being in a metal band.
His friend plays the Glockenspiel and they are forming a band with his cousin who plays the Marimba.
This band will sound like utter shit.
They have ads around town looking for a drummer, bassist and guitar players to round out the band but have no interest from anyone so far.
Platty's Editor Note: How do you make a double bass sound in tune? Chop it up and make it into a xylophone. Everyone meet Oopsai Scharted! Xylophone? Marimba? Who gives a shit!
He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.
He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.
He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.