April 01, 2020

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President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman!

Publish Date: March 16, 2020
Author: Dawn Keybawls

The president calls his willie a whistle.

Each time he hears the term whistleblower, he thinks a whore is going to blow his whistle.

He gets excited like a dog about to get a treat. He’s a dirty ass dog!

His whistle is just as dirty.

Three inches of smegma cheese like substance that is growing around his foreskin.

He claims it's this big, just as large as the space between his fingers.

He hopes the whistleblower has a big mouth.

His whistle is hard to blow. Mostly due to the smegma.

It was confirmed in a previous article on Plattypress.com that Melania Confirms Presidential Load Lumpy Oily Cheese Sauce and smegma go hand in hand.

Enjoy blowing that whistle!

Platty's Editor Note: Please take care of your smegma. - Smegma is a combination of shed skin cells, skin oils, and moisture. It occurs in both male and female mammalian genitalia. In female bodies, it collects around the clitoris and in the folds of the labia minora; in males, smegma collects under the foreskin.

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Denny’s Mobile Relief Truck Over Taken by Drunk College Students! 01/05/20
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 02/11/20
Man Hopes Everyone Sees His Bladder Control Underwear! 11/03/19
Man Robs Peter to Pay Paul Because Peter Is an Asshole! 11/23/19
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 01/27/20
Orgy Fest 2020 Still on Amid Covid-19. Theme: Fuck It! 03/30/20
President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman! 03/16/20
President Claims Only Finger Tip Went into Ukraine’s Presidents Ass! 09/29/19
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 02/28/20
Santa Came in Record Number of Chimneys and Back Doors! 12/25/19
Sometimes It Just Takes A Good Whacking! 01/19/20
Vegetation Secretly Farming Humans for Food! 12/23/19
Victoria's Secret? Her Penis! 02/05/20
White Man with Tan Accused of Brownface! 02/21/20
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 12/07/19
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 12/02/19
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 03/04/20
Woman is Addicted to Second Hand Smoke! 12/11/19

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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