April 19, 2021

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!


breaking news

Idiot Tomato Processing Owner Stuck on Idea From 40 Years Ago!

Benjamin Dover 
February 03, 2020 

Khris Ruffer is a hard man to communicate with. Good luck trying to reach him via phone or email. Why? His only form of communication is by fax!

Yes! Fax is his only avenue of communication. My first fax from Mr Ruffer reads about God and a Hill.

Khris Ruffer's fax continues to mention that "God is in His Holy Temple!" and "Have you seen the hill?" "The hill is the best invention ever!"

Over and over and over again. The same old mention of the hill.... Geez, the hill, we get it and you are way over it.

The hill is just that, a hill. The tomatoes are dumped at the top and gravity (with water) brings the tomatoes to certain parts of the plant for processing. No pumps required which saves electricity and maintenance costs.

Many tomato colleagues today are craving Information Technology to deliver the best fruits and information in the business.

"HELL NO!" Yells Mr Ruffer's fax. "We just need the damn hill. That will fix everything."

"Do you have a car? Well you must put gas in it to make it work!" Mr Ruffer Quipped. "That's the hill..."

"God is in His Holy Temple!" Mr Ruffer's fax mentioned again.

"Have you been in a plane? Well you must put gas in to make it work! Mr Ruffer explained once again. "That's the hill..."

That is the most I can decipher from his fax. A good majority of the fax is hard to read due to it being hand written.

Enjoy this picture of Tomato Man!

Platty's Editor Note: If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a jam? It's time to fire up the fax machine for a good fax loop or better yet a black fax!

Home       Random Article

Other Works by the Author!

Otter Pops Introduces New Urine Otter Pops! 06/19/19
The South To Be Penetrated Hard By Storm Richard! 06/21/19
Old White Man Wants America to be Great Again! 08/06/20
Woman Walking for A Cure for Alzheimer’s Forgets Why She is Walking! 10/07/20
Rare Photo of Airport that Continental Army Took Over During Revolutionary War! 07/06/19
Maker of KIND Create New HATE Bars! 07/24/20
White Man Claims Business Name 'Cracker Barrel' is an Ethnic Slur! 01/10/20
Man Stops Believing. Gets Angry Phone Call from Journey! 08/17/19
White Peacock Tired of Being Called a Goddamn Albino! 03/10/20
New Juiced Bike Racing League: Tour Deez Small Nutz! 01/22/20
Idiot Tomato Processing Owner Stuck on Idea From 40 Years Ago! 02/03/20
Man is Approaching His Last Fuckable Day! 11/10/20
Man, Thinks His Ankles Can Shine Since Switching to Low Cut Socks! 08/30/20
Man Addicted to The Hokey Pokey Finally Turns His Life Around! 08/24/19
Bill Belichick Cannot Contain Excitement After Latest Win! 09/13/20
White Man Has Happy Feelings Because He Might Help The Homeless! 04/10/20
It's 11:11, A Family Spirit is Watching So Stop Masturbating! 09/21/20
Man Needs His Readers to Trim His Pubes! 08/25/20
Man, With Bad Teeth Can Finally Smile! 09/15/20
Wash Your Hands Before and After Masturbation! 10/13/20

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.