February 28, 2021

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model!

Dawn Keybawls 
March 04, 2020 

Yeah, that woman is me!

I am the one who wants my damn phone to have pleasure enhancements.

Can the makers of the iPhone have some originality and creativity and all of the other ‘ity’ words make my pussy cum?

The vibrate mode is very lacking.

It should be called hum mode because it is no vibrator.

This vag needs more power!

Can we get some attachments? I’ll pay for them.

Come on Apple get your shit together!

Jesus Christ already!

Let’s go…

Platty's Editor Note: I think I am going to like Dawn. Everyone welcome Dawn Keybawls.

Home       Random Article

Other Works by the Author!

Burger King Introduces New BK Turkey Fries! 04/23/20
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 03/04/20
White Man with Tan Accused of Brownface! 02/21/20
Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke! 05/01/20
President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman! 03/16/20
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 07/31/20
Man Hopes Everyone Sees His Bladder Control Underwear! 04/01/20
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 05/27/20
Denny’s Mobile Relief Truck Overtaken by Drunk College Students! 05/19/20
Man Robs Peter to Pay Paul Because Peter Is an Asshole! 11/23/19
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 07/02/20
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 05/28/20
Man Suffers from Covid-Penis! 10/15/20
President Claims Only Finger Tip Went into Ukraine’s Presidents Ass! 09/29/19
Vegetation Secretly Farming Humans for Food! 08/23/20
Sometimes It Just Takes A Good Whacking! 01/09/21
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 09/04/20
Asshole Walmart Greeter Watches Woman Pay but Scans Receipt Anyways! 01/12/20
Teacher Misses Having Sex with Her Students! 12/03/20
Santa Came in Record Number of Chimneys and Back Doors! 12/24/20
 

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.