April 01, 2020

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Random article loading in 90 seconds!  

Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model!

Publish Date: March 04, 2020
Author: Dawn Keybawls

Yeah, that woman is me!

I am the one who wants my damn phone to have pleasure enhancements.

Can the makers of the iPhone have some originality and creativity and all of the other ‘ity’ words make my pussy cum?

The vibrate mode is very lacking.

It should be called hum mode because it is no vibrator.

This vag needs more power!

Can we get some attachments? I’ll pay for them.

Come on Apple get your shit together!

Jesus Christ already!

Let’s go…

Platty's Editor Note: I think I am going to like Dawn. Everyone welcome Dawn Keybawls.

Other Titles by Dawn Keybawls Released
Asshole Walmart Greeter Watches Woman Pay but Scans Receipt Anyways! 01/12/20
Burger King Introduces New BK Turkey Fries! 11/15/19
Childs Life Started with A Big Bang! 03/09/20
Denny’s Mobile Relief Truck Over Taken by Drunk College Students! 01/05/20
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 02/11/20
Man Hopes Everyone Sees His Bladder Control Underwear! 11/03/19
Man Robs Peter to Pay Paul Because Peter Is an Asshole! 11/23/19
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 01/27/20
Orgy Fest 2020 Still on Amid Covid-19. Theme: Fuck It! 03/30/20
President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman! 03/16/20
President Claims Only Finger Tip Went into Ukraine’s Presidents Ass! 09/29/19
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 02/28/20
Santa Came in Record Number of Chimneys and Back Doors! 12/25/19
Sometimes It Just Takes A Good Whacking! 01/19/20
Vegetation Secretly Farming Humans for Food! 12/23/19
Victoria's Secret? Her Penis! 02/05/20
White Man with Tan Accused of Brownface! 02/21/20
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 12/07/19
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 12/02/19
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 03/04/20
Woman is Addicted to Second Hand Smoke! 12/11/19

First Name:

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

Last Name:
Email:
Message: