September 24, 2021

Entertaining You Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Food Network Presents: Beat Off Bobby Flay!


Moe Lester 
July 31, 2021 

It’s not what you think. Bobby is single and is dating your daughter. It’s time to beat him off.

Well, it’s what you think. You get to compete against several others at the chance to beat off Bobby Flay.

You will show off you culinary and chopping skills. You will sweat and pour your heart into your food.

If you are good enough, you will get to have a dessert from Bobby himself.

Hand churned whipping cream to add to your final presentation.

It’s time to show your skills and prove that you are a champion of Beating Off Bobby Flay!

I can hear the crowd now. "Beat Him Off! Beat Him Off!”

Platty's Editor Note: Practice with a cucumber if you need to.

Home       Random Article

Other Works by the Author!

THERAPY?: Troublegum 09/23/21
WINTERSUN: Wintersun 09/17/21
OPETH: In Cauda Venenum 09/10/21
Donald Sutherland’s Eyebrows Revealed As the True Old-Fashioned Cocksucker! 09/03/21
Woman Is A Bloody Cunt! 08/31/21
Parents Thankful the Right Kid Died! 08/29/21
Color Blind Man Sees Porn in Color for The First Time! 08/26/21
TLC Creating Scary Terminator Fembot Dodgeball Players! 08/25/21
Man, Never Sees Wife After Bidet with Feminine Wash Installed! 08/21/21
Murderer Only Slays Vagina! 08/20/21
Woman Orders Tootsie Pop Licking Machine! 08/15/21
Husband Loves to Eat His Wife’s Juicy Taco! 08/12/21
Woman’s Double Penetration Sex Toy for Sale! 08/09/21
Man is Very Trusting of His Farts! 08/08/21
Man’s Just a Fatty, Jizzy, Meat Bag of Emotions! 08/07/21
Woman Leaves Pubes on Every Toilet She Uses! 08/03/21
Food Network Presents: Beat Off Bobby Flay! 07/31/21
Woman’s Tootsie Pop Requires 364 Licks! 07/29/21
Man’s Cheesy Meatballs Explode All Over Your Mom’s Grill! 07/27/21
Dad Misses Yelling at His Kids Like He Did When They Were Younger! 07/22/21

 

About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.