April 01, 2020

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Random article loading in 90 seconds!  

Parents Name Children After Natural Disasters!

Publish Date: March 17, 2020
Author: Anna Phalaxis

Pamela Weppler’s life was pretty much a disaster. The same is true for Chris Weppler.

Until they met each other. They fell in love and got married and wanted to continue their disaster of existence together.

They wanted to name their kids something natural and earth bound.

Winter, Summer, Sky, Forest were all too tame for them.

They came to the decision to name them after natural disasters.

Earthquake is 11 and he is a big boy. You know when he is around. He is a clumsy ball of destruction.

Tornado is now 8 and she is fast and always rips their house apart.

Wildfire just turned 6 and loves her stuffed animal named Lightning.

Drought is 4 and moves very slow and has overwhelming anxiety for such a young kid.

Pamela is 6 months pregnant and they are leaning toward naming their child Hurricane.

I believe they have their natural disasters covered and should stop having kids.

Platty's Editor Note: What happened to normal names like Giovanni & Giuseppe?

Other Titles by Anna Phalaxis Released
811? Local Man Is No Pussy and Digs Anyways! 11/28/19
Crying Grandpa Yells ‘Get Your Fucking Hands Off’ To Consoling Family Members! 12/25/19
Cummings Explodes During Trump's Tongue Lashing! 07/28/19
Earth’s Climate Devastation is Boosting Job Growth! 11/09/19
Guy Fieri’s Sperm Rocks Bleach Blonde Tails! 01/04/20
Homeless Man Takes Bath in Flooding Waters! 11/17/19
Husband is Lucky to Get A Foot and A Half! 03/06/20
Kids Drive Uncredited Bus Driver to Drink! 02/27/20
Man Equates Life to Driving A Car With 3 Blown Tires! 02/01/20
Man Holds Sign 'We Love You Stevie' at a Stevie Wonders Concert! 01/25/20
Man Jokes about Being Unattractive and Others Automatically Agree! 01/20/20
Man Loves His Fat Juicy Meat! 01/14/20
Man Plays Skin Flute During Brain Surgery! 02/23/20
Man, Premature Ejaculates into Wipes That Claim to Stop Premature Ejaculation! 01/06/20
Man, Unaware Third Woman Knocking at His Door Was A Kidnap Victim! 03/26/20
Meatloaf Would Do Anything for A Klondike Bar, But He Won’t Do That! 03/08/20
Nails, Eyebrows and Bushes Are Getting Out of Control! 03/23/20
New Dating App: Just Looking! 02/16/20
Parents Name Children After Natural Disasters! 03/17/20
Pervert Takes Picture Because It Will Last Longer! 01/09/20
Scrabble Teacher Reminds Player They Are A Dumbass! 08/17/19
White Man Tired of Being Pulled Over by Police! 03/28/20
Woman Has to Shit Every Time She Gets Mad! 03/20/20
Woman’s Burger Has Never Been Stuffed! 02/09/20

First Name:

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

Last Name:
Email:
Message: