April 01, 2020
Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!
Man Is on His 8th Attempt to Pick Up Piece of Paper Off the Floor!
Publish Date: March 12, 2020
Author: Moe Lester
The first try was short. His hamstrings didn’t give him the stretch.
The second attempt was also limited by a pain in his back.
Third time is the charm, but not for him. His knee almost buckled.
The forth time he got his hand on the paper, but his fingers failed him.
The fifth time was just the same as the fourth but now he was a good rocking motion going.
The sixth time was even closer, two fingers on the paper.
The seventh time, the rocking motion was going well as his thumb failed this time.
The eighth time it all came together, his back, his hamstrings, fingers and thumb worked as a team and the paper was picked up.
He finally stands up straight and said "It's about goddamn time!"
Platty's Editor Note: At least he has the tools to get the job done!
He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.
He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.
He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.