October 18, 2021

Entertaining You Since 2019!


breaking news

Prostitutes Offer $3.14 Pie for Pi Day!

Mike Litorus 
June 14, 2021 

It might be a few years before we finally write Covid into the history books, but people are struggling to make ends meet and survive today.

Sex workers are pounded even harder in this pandemic.

Other than use a 6 feet penis extension, these workers risk their lives to survive.

Worse than Covid is their clientele have been staying away.

Workers are now lowering their standards to offer a $3.14 Pie Day special for Pi Day.

March 14th is Pi Day as Pi equals 3.14159265359 and continues on forever without a pattern.

I was offered a sample taste of their pie, but I declined obviously.

Moe Lester, you can find these lovely ladies on 2nd street!

Support you local sex workers as Sex Worker Lives Matter!

Platty's Editor Note: That's a $1.86 savings over the $5 dollar box. 2nd street huh?


Other Works by the Author!

STATIC-X: Wisconsin Death Trip 10/09/21
ENSIFERUM: Iron 09/29/21
ARCTURUS: Arcturian 09/21/21
TESTAMENT: Demonic 09/15/21
Stoner Uses Enbrel On His Joints! 09/09/21
Covid-19 Spreading Quicker Than Your Mom’s Legs! 08/28/21
Woman, Wants You to See Her Candy Pouch! 08/27/21
No One Gives A Fuck About Mountain Time! 08/18/21
We All Know A Douchebag Named Mike! 08/15/21
Hula Hooping Gives Woman the Queefs! 08/13/21
Baby Book Abandoned Within 4 Weeks! 08/06/21
Man’s Vaginitis Flaring Up Again! 08/02/21
Taco Bell Offers New Menu Inspired Bathroom Fragrances! 07/23/21
Victor Totally Destroys Cheryl's She Shed! 07/20/21
Ore-Ida Releases Just Crack Breakfast Kit! 07/15/21
Kroger 'O' Loves the Double Team! 07/14/21
Man Drops Another Toilet Bowl Masterpiece! 07/03/21
At Infidelity, We’ll Plan Your Financial Future and Fuck Your Wife! 06/29/21
Pepto Bismol Diarrhea Liquid Enema Released! 06/27/21
White Man Asked to Be Less White! 06/23/21


About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.