October 18, 2021

Entertaining You Since 2019!


breaking news

Man’s Johnson Grows After Johnson & Johnson Vaccine!

Dawn Keybawls 
July 12, 2021 

Johnson & Johnson’s new vaccine has a huge side effect for some men’s Johnson.

Their Johnson’s grew to astronomical sizes.

Sergei could never be happier with the results as he is now vaccinated accompanied with a huge Johnson.

His wife has expressed extreme displeasure as she walked away yelling “Oh hell no!”

Their divorce is pending.

Sergei can be booked for weddings, funerals, and children birthday parties.

He’ll entertain you and your closest family and friends with his wonderful dick tricks.

Here’s to Sergei’s new opportunities.

Platty’s Editor Note: Seriously, where are his pants? Is that a new rule? Giant dick? You don’t have to wear pants now? This seems familiar…..


Other Works by the Author!

TOOL: Ænima 10/10/21
IMMORTAL: Northern Chaos Gods 10/01/21
AT THE GATES: Slaughter of the Soul 09/22/21
WINDS: The Imaginary Direction of Time 09/16/21
THYRFING: Vanagandr 09/09/21
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 09/04/21
Man, Taint Rips Victims Like Swayze Arrested! 08/29/21
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 08/26/21
Ghost Dick Haunts Huntington Beach Marriott! 08/22/21
Tide Releases Meat-Based Laundry Detergent! 08/17/21
Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke! 08/16/21
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 08/12/21
Fantasy Sports Gamer Lands on DL, Will Miss Season! 08/04/21
P & R Tired of Q’s Shit! 08/03/21
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 07/31/21
Ginger Woman Sells Her Soul to The Devil! 07/28/21
Private Investigator Is A Real Dick! 07/25/21
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 07/24/21
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 07/17/21
Man Suffers from Covid-Penis! 07/14/21


About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.