November 26, 2021
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Man, Taint Rips Victims Like Swayze Arrested!
August 29, 2021
Jimmy “Taint Ripper” Ortiz has been apprehended and placed under arrest for his horrific crimes.
Jimmy was inspired by Road House and Swayze’s throat rip that he spent years strengthening his fingers, thumbs and forearms so he could perfect the rip.
Jimmy had to shake things up while he was a member of the mob.
His throat rips were impressive, but his colleagues would always compare him to Dalton in Road House.
He did make his mark in the mob until he started ripping the perineum off his victims.
Jimmy “Taint Ripper” Ortiz was the new mobster on the block.
His shear strength was unmatched as he could rip a taint through the toughest of jeans.
Dalton would be impressed.
He is facing 35 years to life and is looking forward to ripping taints in prison.
Platty’s Editor Note: Moves like Jagger? Throat and taint rips like Swayze?
He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.
He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.
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