February 25, 2021

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

New Strain Found in Drunken State!

Benjamin Dover 
February 09, 2021 

There has been a new strain identified today where the Coronavirus has been found in a drunken state.

It was found chugging several Corona beers and was stumbling around and was displaying drunkenness accompanied with slurred speech.

The new strain also has a habit of urinating on the spot and prefers a neighbor’s wooden fence over a toilet.

This strain loves country music and having sex with their sister and cousin.

The side effects of this strain will give you a hankering for Funyuns and Spam.

The best part is that you will be legally drunk which makes this strain the best one yet.

Look for this strain at your next super spreader event.

Platty’s Editor Note: I’ll have what she is having, the Corona-Corona strain!

Home       Random Article

Other Works by the Author!

Otter Pops Introduces New Urine Otter Pops! 06/19/19
The South To Be Penetrated Hard By Storm Richard! 06/21/19
Old White Man Wants America to be Great Again! 08/06/20
Woman Walking for A Cure for Alzheimer’s Forgets Why She is Walking! 10/07/20
Maker of KIND Create New HATE Bars! 07/24/20
White Man Claims Business Name 'Cracker Barrel' is an Ethnic Slur! 01/10/20
Rare Photo of Airport that Continental Army Took Over During Revolutionary War! 07/06/19
White Peacock Tired of Being Called a Goddamn Albino! 03/10/20
New Juiced Bike Racing League: Tour Deez Small Nutz! 01/22/20
Idiot Tomato Processing Owner Stuck on Idea From 40 Years Ago! 02/03/20
Man Stops Believing. Gets Angry Phone Call from Journey! 08/17/19
Man, Thinks His Ankles Can Shine Since Switching to Low Cut Socks! 08/30/20
Man is Approaching His Last Fuckable Day! 11/10/20
Man Addicted to The Hokey Pokey Finally Turns His Life Around! 08/24/19
Bill Belichick Cannot Contain Excitement After Latest Win! 09/13/20
White Man Has Happy Feelings Because He Might Help The Homeless! 04/10/20
Man Needs His Readers to Trim His Pubes! 08/25/20
It's 11:11, A Family Spirit is Watching So Stop Masturbating! 09/21/20
Wash Your Hands Before and After Masturbation! 10/13/20
Find Your Murdering Potential with Murder23andMe! 06/08/20
 

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.