February 25, 2021

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

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breaking news

Woman Orders Tootsie Pop Licking Machine!

Moe Lester 
February 08, 2021 

Mary Allen Terrance Smith is now officially divorced and doesn’t really want to start dating yet.

She has never used any toys by herself or with her ex-husband.

She read an article about how the engineers at Tootsie Pop have a machine that licks the Tootsie Pop until it reaches the center.

Mary wants her Tootsie Pop licked until her creamy center is reached.

She reached out to the makers of Tootsie Pop to inquire about purchasing a licking machine.

They initially told Mary their machines are not for personal use but after many inquiries from many women, Tootsie Pop will soon release a personal licking machine where it will count how many licks it takes to get to the center of your Tootsie Pop.

Platty's Editor Note: This can be used for a guy too right?

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.