October 18, 2021

Entertaining You Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Fantasy Sports Gamer Lands on DL, Will Miss Season!


Dawn Keybawls 
August 04, 2021 

Fred Carson has been an unlucky participant in a fantasy football league with his friends.

They have been hosting live drafts together with food and many drinks for the past 15 years.

Fred has never won.

He did finish second once but has mainly finished with a losing record for 11 of those seasons.

That one lucky season his team crushed it every week except the championship game where his team lost by 2.1 points.

Fred continued to use that season as inspiration but has fallen short ever since.

This was going to be the year, but Fred has landed on the disabled list after a bad car accident.

He has been outfitted with a full body cast and will not be able to manage his team.

Fred will undergo months of physical therapy and should be ready for the next fantasy season.

Platty’s Editor Note: My wife's idea of fantasy sports is me not watching them.

Home

Other Works by the Author!

TOOL: Ænima 10/10/21
IMMORTAL: Northern Chaos Gods 10/01/21
AT THE GATES: Slaughter of the Soul 09/22/21
WINDS: The Imaginary Direction of Time 09/16/21
THYRFING: Vanagandr 09/09/21
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 09/04/21
Man, Taint Rips Victims Like Swayze Arrested! 08/29/21
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 08/26/21
Ghost Dick Haunts Huntington Beach Marriott! 08/22/21
Tide Releases Meat-Based Laundry Detergent! 08/17/21
Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke! 08/16/21
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 08/12/21
Fantasy Sports Gamer Lands on DL, Will Miss Season! 08/04/21
P & R Tired of Q’s Shit! 08/03/21
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 07/31/21
Ginger Woman Sells Her Soul to The Devil! 07/28/21
Private Investigator Is A Real Dick! 07/25/21
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 07/24/21
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 07/17/21
Man Suffers from Covid-Penis! 07/14/21

 

About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.