Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Melania Confirms Presidential Load Lumpy Oily Cheese Sauce!
Publish Date: June 20, 2019
Author: Moe Lester

Yup! That's it. The whole article in one title.

It's also the strangest phone interview that I have ever experienced. I can tell you that I have changed.

I no longer look at canned cheese the same ever again. I'm sorry Velveeta but I can no longer consume your products.

Nachos, Quesadilla’s, Mac and Cheese and the list goes on. Maybe some day I’ll consume these foods again without the current memory burn.

Just look at his face and then move your gaze up and take in the fruits of your labor if you are ever so lucky to be with this iconic man. I have a feeling you would have the facial expression of Melania trying to hold back her vomit.

We did talk in depth about lumpiness and consistency. There were times it was very runny and other times very oily. I don’t know but she kept saying “Be Best Donald, Be Best!” I was perplexed. She left me with one last piece of information. She said that she makes the best cheesy bread during certain fungal infections. I am certainly puzzled and not sure I want to be unpuzzled.

Platty’s Editor Note: This is certainly a cheesy article but so worth it. Moe is a bit twisted but in a good way.

Other Titles by Moe Lester Released
Accept Tired of Having Their Balls to the Wall...Man! 10/03/19
Cheese Explodes All Over Microwave Cover’s Tits! 10/29/19
Dad Misses Yelling at His Kids Like He Did When They Were Younger! 12/05/19
Daughter Butchers Parents Portrait! 07/31/19
405 Days To Retirement, Asshole Upping His Asshole Game! 06/27/19
Food Network Presents: Beat Off Bobby Flay! 09/10/19
Hims Side Effect: Extra Arm Growth! 06/26/19
Hot Pockets Have 30% More Cheese! Brings Total To 30% Cheese! 09/01/19
Kinky American Diplomat Looking for Next Prisoner Swap! 12/08/19
Man Is on His 8th Attempt to Pick Up Piece of Paper Off the Floor! 08/12/19
Man Worries His Murder Won't Be Covered by Local News! 11/16/19
Man, Assplodes On Toilet Adjacent to Family Room During Prayer! 10/13/19
Man, Never Sees Wife After Bidet with Feminine Wash Installed! 07/16/19
Man’s Cheesy Meatballs Explode All Over Your Mom’s Grill! 09/02/19
Melania Confirms Presidential Load Lumpy Oily Cheese Sauce! 06/20/19
Mrs. Claus Gifted Pearl Necklace for Christmas! 12/01/19
President Nutted When Crowd Chanted 'Send Her Back!' 07/20/19
President Trump Wants to Show You His 'OH' Face! 11/24/19
Ross Perot Finally Fucking Finished! 07/10/19
Trump’s Air Emissions Panel Are Breathing Through Their Derriere! 09/21/19
White Deviant Sexual Predator Wishes Matt Lauer Was Back on The Today Show! 08/18/19
Wife is Out of Town, Husband Tries to Masturbate Like a Teen Again! 11/10/19

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