October 18, 2021

Entertaining You Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Perineum Sunning Cures Covid-19!


Anna Phalaxis 
August 19, 2021 

Asshole sunning.

It is the new trend among the youngsters and now it proving to be a cure for Covid-19.

There are several ways to sun your ass with beautiful bright sunlight.

You can sit down and pull your legs up into the air to expose your pucker to the sky.

There is also the head down ass up method but that will most likely invite many unwanted guests. Or possibly wanted. That's up to you.

Be careful to not pull a Josh Brolin and burn your ass so use plenty of sunscreen.

You may need to apply the sunscreen many times.

Apply every 5 minutes and get it in there deep.

Platty's Editor Note: Come on Anna, we know this won't cure Covid but it would be fun to fool people into doing it!

Home

Other Works by the Author!

MINISTRY: With Sympathy 10/15/21
CRADLE OF FILTH: Existence is Futile 10/05/21
IRON MAIDEN: Somewhere in Time 09/27/21
THE KOVENANT: Nexus Polaris 09/19/21
LE GRAND GUIGNOL: The Great Maddening 09/12/21
Golfer Had Best Round of Life Until He Lost It On 17! 09/08/21
Gay Dudes Propose with Matching Cock Rings! 09/03/21
Man is Fingers Deep into His Girlfriend’s Poutine! 09/02/21
Earth Has Violent Diarrhea! 08/29/21
Freezer Has History with Dead Bodies! 08/27/21
Prostitutes Offer $5 Dollar Box! 08/24/21
Police Consider Killing More Innocent White People! 08/22/21
Perineum Sunning Cures Covid-19! 08/19/21
Chipotle Rebrands as Shitpotle! 08/16/21
811? Local Man Is No Pussy and Digs Anyways! 08/10/21
Neighborhood Glory Hole Now Open! 08/08/21
Man, Premature Ejaculates into Wipes That Claim to Stop Premature Ejaculation! 08/05/21
Pervert Takes Picture Because It Will Last Longer! 08/01/21
Friskies Asses Contains Natural Mouse, Bird and Rat Ass Ingredients! 07/27/21
Grandma Has A WAP! 07/21/21

 

About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.