January 20, 2021

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Yakuza IT Tech Preforms Yubitsume For Botched Software Upgrade!

Chit Ferbrauns 
November 19, 2020 

Yubitsume (finger shortening) is a Japanese ritual to atone for offenses to another, a way to be punished or to show sincere apology and remorse to another, by means of amputating portions of one's own little finger”.

Hiroyuki Kimura is a pinky tip short these days.

He is the head of the Yakuza IT department and was in charge or their IT infrastructure upgrade.

Today, Hiroyuki voluntarily preformed the Yubitsume ritual for the botched IT upgrade that kept their organization offline for 2 days longer than promised.

Yubitsume started with the Samurai as it was believed you couldn’t firmly grip your sword tightly without the pinky finger.

In battle, this made one weak and requiring help from the top boss.

This ritual remains true for their IT team as their fingers are critical for typing and Hiroyuki’s typing will be weakened.

It’s difficult to hide your fingers when typing so all will know his disrespect.

He knows he will need help to continue his job. His typing speed has been effected.

He has been told the next disrespect and dishonor will result in Seppuku.

Hiroyuki know he has his stomach on the chopping block and cannot mess up again.

Platty’s Editor Note: I was going to commit Seppuku but I didn’t have the guts!

Home       Random Article

Other Works by the Author!

Man Sleeps Like A Baby. Shits Himself 3 Times Every Night! 06/26/20
Golfer Feels Sexy Holding His Follow Through! 07/14/20
Rectal Thermometer Leaves Shitty Taste in Man’s Mouth! 05/24/20
Peloton Introduces Triple D Tandem Bike! 01/26/20
Last Piece of Pizza Excited for Group Play! 09/09/20
Woman Wants Two Dict’s in Her Eggs Benedict! 08/04/20
Peloton Triple D Attachments Offer Deeper, Harder Ride! 10/09/20
Practice Safe Social Distancing with The New 6 Foot Penis Extension! 06/06/20
Man Selling Couch Only Had Sex on It 6 Times! 10/22/20
Wife Returns New Glasses After Finally Seeing Her Husband! 01/12/21
Yakuza IT Tech Preforms Yubitsume For Botched Software Upgrade! 11/19/20
Here is a New App That Manages Your Other Apps That Manage Your Apps! 01/04/21
USA Leads in Coronavirus! We’re #1! USA! USA! USA! 10/27/20
Gay Porn Star Asked About His Big Opening! 07/17/20
Covid-19 Survivor Killed in Car Accident Leaving Hospital! 11/21/20
White House Staff Big Fan of Peloton Triple D! 01/15/20
People Respect Social Distancing at Neighbors Barbecue by Staying Home! 05/02/20
Homeless Woman Arrested for Violating Stay at Home Order! 04/02/20
Don Jr. Starts Trump Pharm Co. and Releases First Covid Vaccine! 09/22/20
Justin Case: Mystery Files of The Ridiculously Prepared! 06/17/20
 

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.