August 04, 2020

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Random article loading in 90 seconds!  

Man Suffers from Covid-Penis!

Dawn Keybawls
May 08, 2020

Mario García Ramírez de Arroyo has a long name.

That is not the only thing.

Mario recently was diagnosed with Covid-19 and now experiences a new side effect of the virus.

Covid-Penis!

Mario is healthy and feeling well these days and very proud of his new “side-effect.”

He loves to show it off to anyone who wants to see it.

His wife has expressed extreme displeasure as she walked away yelling “Oh hell no!”

Mario is looking forward to a career in the porn industry.

We wish him well!

Platty’s Editor Note: Seriously, where are his pants? Is that a new rule? Giant dick? You don’t have to wear pants now?

Other Titles by Dawn Keybawls Released
2020 Senior Skip Day is Actually Going to School! 05/16/20
Agoraphobic Finally Feels Comfortable in Public! 04/08/20
Asshole Walmart Greeter Watches Woman Pay but Scans Receipt Anyways! 01/12/20
Burger King Introduces New BK Turkey Fries! 04/23/20
Childs Life Started with A Big Bang! 03/09/20
Denny’s Mobile Relief Truck Overtaken by Drunk College Students! 05/19/20
Guitarist’s Girlfriend Loves How He Fingers Her Guitar! 06/09/20
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 02/11/20
Man Does Everything He Can to Get Out of Doing Anything! 06/16/20
Man Hopes Everyone Sees His Bladder Control Underwear! 04/01/20
Man Robs Peter to Pay Paul Because Peter Is an Asshole! 11/23/19
Man Suffers from Covid-Penis! 05/08/20
Man’s Balls Immediately Hurt When Talking About Vasectomy! 07/15/20
Man’s Hairline Looking Like A Patch of Pubes! 07/26/20
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 07/02/20
Orgy Fest 2020 Still on Amid Covid-19. Theme: Fuck It! 03/30/20
President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman! 03/16/20
President Claims Only Finger Tip Went into Ukraine’s Presidents Ass! 09/29/19
Private Investigator Is A Real Dick! 06/27/20
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 07/31/20
Santa Came in Record Number of Chimneys and Back Doors! 12/25/19
Sometimes It Just Takes A Good Whacking! 01/19/20
Teacher Misses Having Sex with Her Students! 04/22/20
Trump Says We Are Removing the Plague. But He Is Still Here! 04/14/20
Vegetation Secretly Farming Humans for Food! 12/23/19
Victoria's Secret? Her Penis! 02/05/20
White Man with Tan Accused of Brownface! 02/21/20
Woman Bakes Bread Using Vaginal Yeast! 05/25/20
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 05/27/20
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 05/28/20
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 03/04/20
Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke! 05/01/20

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.