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Otter Pops Introduces New Urine Otter Pops!

Publish Date: June 19, 2019
Author: Benjamin Dover

Have you seen the new Otter Pops?

What happened to the colors?

Why do they look like tubes of urine?

You guessed it! Otter Pops have released the new Urine Pops. Artificial colors are gone, and only pure urine is being used.

I reached out to their CEO and lucky I was able to present a few questions for him.

BD: "They are urine pops but how can you claim 100% fruit juice?"

Louie B: "We only hire people from the LGBTTQQIAAP community to supply the urine. This is how we can still claim 100% fruit juice."

BD: “That is completely insensitive to this community and I am appalled by your answer.”

Louie B: “We’ll we hire everyone in the fruit bowl of sorts. Or should I say the cornucopia of LGBTTQQIAAP.

BD: “What does corn have to do with this? Well Sir, good day as I am against Homophobia, Transphobia, Biphobia and Cornphobia. I will completely boycot your company.”

I brought my community together to have an Otter Pop burning party but soon realized liquid/frozen treats do not burn very well. Instead we had a pouring out party. We also realized that pouring is a reference to a fallen friend. So, we just ate them real quick. We all experienced brain freeze. Damn you Otter Pops….

Platty's Editor Note: LGBTTQQIAAP stands for (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, ally, pansexual). I am a Platypus and fully stand for and support the LGBTTQQIAAP community. Please dont sue me!

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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