January 20, 2021
Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!
New Juiced Bike Racing League: Tour Deez Small Nutz!
January 22, 2020
A new bicycle racing league has been announced today. Many racing enthusiasts are excited that we finally have a league where juicing is mandatory.
The C.E.O. Richard Little does want racers to know that there will be mandatory drug tests to make sure that each one abides by the rules and is completely juiced.
Registration for racers to sign up will be available soon.
Dick also said, “We are also exploring weaponry. Possibly small hand to hand weapons for close and tight races. They will need to take their rage out somehow.”
“That would be awesome!” he continued. “Some awesome crashes, guys getting maimed and maybe one of these guys will hit 100 miles per hour. Into a wall. Totally!”
“It sounds like being juiced is the least of their concern.” I squeezed in before Dick kept going on.
“Well, the juice is the foundation, the best racing will come from that. We’ll have the best doctors and juice available to our racers. It will be awesome!”
I thanked Mr. Little for his time before he headed off to god knows where, but he did say “It will be awesome!” one more time.
Platty's Editor Note: I would tell you a small penis joke but I don't want to come off as being cocky!
He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.
He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.
He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.