April 01, 2020

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Random article loading in 90 seconds!  

Nails, Eyebrows and Bushes Are Getting Out of Control!

Publish Date: March 23, 2020
Author: Anna Phalaxis

Men and Women, are you ready?

Soon your wife’s, girlfriend’s, boyfriend’s nails, eyebrows and bushes are going to grow out of control.

This should be considered an essential service in our time as we will finally get to see what our significant other will be in their natural state.

Those eyebrows will grow out of control.

The nails will soon look like shit as they will tear or be cut and will look like shit!

Do I need to talk about the bushes? Are you ready for some bush?

It will soon be like 70’s porn with hair all over.

Are you ready to pick some hair out of your teeth?

Platty’s Editor note: Some of you could use some dental floss….

Other Titles by Anna Phalaxis Released
811? Local Man Is No Pussy and Digs Anyways! 11/28/19
Crying Grandpa Yells ‘Get Your Fucking Hands Off’ To Consoling Family Members! 12/25/19
Cummings Explodes During Trump's Tongue Lashing! 07/28/19
Earth’s Climate Devastation is Boosting Job Growth! 11/09/19
Guy Fieri’s Sperm Rocks Bleach Blonde Tails! 01/04/20
Homeless Man Takes Bath in Flooding Waters! 11/17/19
Husband is Lucky to Get A Foot and A Half! 03/06/20
Kids Drive Uncredited Bus Driver to Drink! 02/27/20
Man Equates Life to Driving A Car With 3 Blown Tires! 02/01/20
Man Holds Sign 'We Love You Stevie' at a Stevie Wonders Concert! 01/25/20
Man Jokes about Being Unattractive and Others Automatically Agree! 01/20/20
Man Loves His Fat Juicy Meat! 01/14/20
Man Plays Skin Flute During Brain Surgery! 02/23/20
Man, Premature Ejaculates into Wipes That Claim to Stop Premature Ejaculation! 01/06/20
Man, Unaware Third Woman Knocking at His Door Was A Kidnap Victim! 03/26/20
Meatloaf Would Do Anything for A Klondike Bar, But He Won’t Do That! 03/08/20
Nails, Eyebrows and Bushes Are Getting Out of Control! 03/23/20
New Dating App: Just Looking! 02/16/20
Parents Name Children After Natural Disasters! 03/17/20
Pervert Takes Picture Because It Will Last Longer! 01/09/20
Scrabble Teacher Reminds Player They Are A Dumbass! 08/17/19
White Man Tired of Being Pulled Over by Police! 03/28/20
Woman Has to Shit Every Time She Gets Mad! 03/20/20
Woman’s Burger Has Never Been Stuffed! 02/09/20

First Name:

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

Last Name:
Email:
Message: