August 04, 2020

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Random article loading in 90 seconds!  

Childs Life Started with A Big Bang!

Dawn Keybawls
March 09, 2020

This is not the story of Three Men and a Baby where three dudes bang some girl within a short period of time for a love child.

I’m sure that was on the guys minds prior to smashing her blind. A love child.

First, you go girl!

Second, this big bang would be the 3 dudes and then add 7 more and instead of a short period of time, they smash her kitty all at once.

Maybe in theory this sounds like fun but in reality?

Imagine the phone call Mary Margarette Smith had to make to each dude to get a paternity test.

She is hoping to narrow the father down but there were two pairs of identical twins in the pile of dude smashers.

Little Johnny Smith doesn’t hold any judgements against her Mom because he doesn’t know how he was conceived yet.

There will be one day in 17 years when he discovers a nasty porn site and gets to finally see how he was created.

It will inspire him to meet the dude smashers and he hopes that he could call them dad.

Platty's Editor Note: Jesus! I'm sure you smashers would have no issue with 10 women. Don't judge!

Other Titles by Dawn Keybawls Released
2020 Senior Skip Day is Actually Going to School! 05/16/20
Agoraphobic Finally Feels Comfortable in Public! 04/08/20
Asshole Walmart Greeter Watches Woman Pay but Scans Receipt Anyways! 01/12/20
Burger King Introduces New BK Turkey Fries! 04/23/20
Childs Life Started with A Big Bang! 03/09/20
Denny’s Mobile Relief Truck Overtaken by Drunk College Students! 05/19/20
Guitarist’s Girlfriend Loves How He Fingers Her Guitar! 06/09/20
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 02/11/20
Man Does Everything He Can to Get Out of Doing Anything! 06/16/20
Man Hopes Everyone Sees His Bladder Control Underwear! 04/01/20
Man Robs Peter to Pay Paul Because Peter Is an Asshole! 11/23/19
Man Suffers from Covid-Penis! 05/08/20
Man’s Balls Immediately Hurt When Talking About Vasectomy! 07/15/20
Man’s Hairline Looking Like A Patch of Pubes! 07/26/20
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 07/02/20
Orgy Fest 2020 Still on Amid Covid-19. Theme: Fuck It! 03/30/20
President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman! 03/16/20
President Claims Only Finger Tip Went into Ukraine’s Presidents Ass! 09/29/19
Private Investigator Is A Real Dick! 06/27/20
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 07/31/20
Santa Came in Record Number of Chimneys and Back Doors! 12/25/19
Sometimes It Just Takes A Good Whacking! 01/19/20
Teacher Misses Having Sex with Her Students! 04/22/20
Trump Says We Are Removing the Plague. But He Is Still Here! 04/14/20
Vegetation Secretly Farming Humans for Food! 12/23/19
Victoria's Secret? Her Penis! 02/05/20
White Man with Tan Accused of Brownface! 02/21/20
Woman Bakes Bread Using Vaginal Yeast! 05/25/20
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 05/27/20
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 05/28/20
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 03/04/20
Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke! 05/01/20

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.