April 01, 2020
Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!
Virgin Trees Not Willing to Give It Up to Become Toilet Paper for Your Ass!
Publish Date: March 13, 2020
Author: Mike Litorus
There are plenty of stats out there days like how many Home Runs your favorite baseball player has. Perhaps you followed the Women's World Cup and saw your favorite players score some goals.
One stat in my mind that sticks out like a sore thumb is how many trees it takes to make toilet paper.
About 27,000 trees a day are wiped out for you to wipe yourself clean. One tree can provide up to 200 roles per 100 pounds of log.
Think about all the time and resources the earth provides in nourishment with soil and water for these trees. All wasted to wipe your dirty bum!
Save the earth and some trees and get yourself a nice Bidet and an ass towel to dry off afterward. Your wife and/or girlfriend will thank you if you get one with the frontal cleansing nozzle.
These virgin trees are not willing to give up their existence to become your ass paper!
Platty's Editor Note: I'm wiped after reading this article. It was a little corny and a bit nutty.
He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.
He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.
He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.