Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019


breaking news

Woman, Wants You to See Her Candy Pouch!
Publish Date: November 25, 2019
Author: Mike Litorus

One PayDay, Mr Goodbar wanted a Bit O'Honey so he took his Ms. Hershey down to the Powerhouse of 5th Avenue and Clark where he began to feel her Mounds.

That was an Almond Joy which definitely made his Tootsie Roll. He let out a Snicker as he slipped his ButterFinger up her Kit Kat which caused a Milky Way.

She screamed Oh Henry! as she squeezed his Peter Paul and Zag Nuts and said, “You’re better than the 3 Musketeers!”

No! I am all set and do not want to see your candy pouch! Yelled the boys but it was too late.

Olga Chappie Smith was wandering around a popular event over the weekend asking little boys if they want to see her candy pouch. The boys were horrified when they heard a loud Krackel when she pulled up her Moo-Moo dress to reveal her Baby Ruth pouch. That was no baby. It was a bit Chunky and full of Gobstoppers with some Fun Dip sprinkled in. However, there was no fun to be found here. Only nightmares!

Olga was taken back to her retirement community by local police where she wandered off from earlier in the day. She will be fine but the boys have some Heath issues that need to be resolved.

That’s going to cost about 100 Grand for therapy for these young boys.

Platty's Editor Note: Bar None, this article is a Cup-O-Gold! Mike is an Old Faithful!

Other Titles by Mike Litorus Released
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Little Shit Grew Up to Be A Big Shit! 07/15/19
Man, Excited to Show Off His Mom Jeans! 09/23/19
Melania Launches New Lumpy Cheesy Bread & Yeast Consumer Products! 06/28/19
Mueller! Mueller! Mueller! 07/24/19
Photos Show Aquaman Participating in a Threesome! 08/13/19
Tool Pushits New Album Back 2 Years to 2021! 07/22/19
Victor Totally Destroys Cheryl's She Shed! 09/09/19
Virgin Trees Not Willing to Give It Up to Become Toilet Paper for Your Ass! 07/08/19
We All Know A Douchebag Named Mike! 07/28/19
Woman Drowns Her 3 Children in Bathtub After Pausing Show 334 Times! 08/24/19
Woman Excitingly Eating Frozen Chocolate Banana! 10/06/19
Woman Uses FaceApp on Child to See Who The Daddy Could Be! 10/26/19
Woman, Wants You to See Her Candy Pouch! 11/25/19

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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