August 04, 2020
Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!
Santa Came in Record Number of Chimneys and Back Doors!
December 25, 2019
Everyone wonder’s why Santa only works 1 day a year.
Is he lazy the rest of the year?
Elves do all the work for Santa so what does he have to do?
He needs his rest.
This year Santa came down a record number of chimneys.
He also entered a record number of back doors where the chimney was too small for him or the only opening available was the back door.
Those are the only two options for Santa as Mrs. Claus does not approve of Santa coming in the front door.
Too many problems can happen when Santa comes in the front door.
Coming down that many chimneys and back doors makes Santa very tired.
The main reason we give him milk is to keep his protein levels up so he can deliver the gifts down your chimney and in your back door.
Please make sure you have one of these openings available for Santa to come.
Platty's Editor Note: How do you know when Santa's in the room? You can sense his presents.
He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.
He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.
He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.