February 17, 2020

Entertaining You On The Company Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Random article loading in 90 seconds!  

Find Your Murdering Potential with Murder23andMe!

Publish Date: December 24, 2019
Author: Benjamin Dover

Have you thought about murdering people?

You’re just not sure if you will be good at it?

Murder23andMe can help.

They will send you a one of a kind collection kit.

Hock some loogies into their collection containers and mail it back to them in a prepaid envelope that you paid for.

Their labs will analyze your DNA and compare it to the great killers in our history.

There will be a detailed report of your family’s murderous past which will point out key indicators that will determine if you will be a successful murderer.

Head on over to Murder23andMe.com and find out if you have what it takes.

Platty's Editor Note: At least its not RapeAndSodomy23andMe.com

Other Titles by Benjamin Dover Released
Bill Belichick Cannot Contain Excitement After Latest Win! 09/19/19
Douchebag Takes Break from Computer to Use His Phone! 12/29/19
Find Your Murdering Potential with Murder23andMe! 12/24/19
Hundreds of Mistresses Mourn Fallen Basketball Star! 02/08/20
Idiot Tomato Processing Owner Stuck on Idea From 40 Years Ago! 02/03/20
It’s November 3rd! Take Down Your Halloween Shit! 11/03/19
Kid Enraged by Accidently Eating Oatmeal Raisin Instead of Chocolate Chip Cookie! 12/11/19
Maker of KIND Create New HATE Bars! 01/03/20
Man Addicted to The Hokey Pokey Finally Turns His Life Around! 08/24/19
Man is Approaching His Last Fuckable Day! 11/17/19
Man Stops Believing. Gets Angry Phone Call from Journey! 08/17/19
Man, Thinks His Ankles Can Shine Since Switching to Low Cut Socks! 07/28/19
Nascar Driver Dreams of Turning Right! 12/07/19
New Juiced Bike Racing League: Tour Deez Small Nutz! 01/22/20
Old White Man Wants America to be Great Again! 10/17/19
Otter Pops Introduces New Urine Otter Pops! 06/19/19
President Said It’s Not A Sub Penis! 11/30/19
Rare Photo of Airport that Continental Army Took Over During Revolutionary War! 07/06/19
The South To Be Penetrated Hard By Storm Richard! 06/21/19
We Be Them! This Is Us Urban Blight Edition! 01/16/20
White Man Claims Business Name 'Cracker Barrel' is an Ethnic Slur! 01/10/20
White Man Has Happy Feelings Because He Might Help The Homeless! 11/11/19
White Peacock Tired of Being Called a Goddamn Albino! 08/01/19
Woman is too Lazy to Cancel Her Gym Membership! 09/07/19
Woman Walking for A Cure for Alzheimer’s Forgets Why She is Walking! 12/14/19

First Name:

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

Last Name:
Email:
Message: