October 18, 2021

Entertaining You Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke!


Dawn Keybawls 
August 16, 2021 

Maggie McCarthy use to be a smoker.

She gave it up to become a second-hand smoker.

The cost of cigarettes has skyrocketed so she wants to save some money by sucking the smoke of the lungs of unsuspecting smokers.

She would stalk the smokers in their break area and swoop in when a smoker was about to exhale.

It was even better when there was more than one smoker as she would work the entire area sucking in as much second-hand smoke as possible.

She was often heard telling smokers to go ahead and blow it all in her mouth.

There were many times where she was offered a cigarette, but she declined as she has given up first-hand smoking.

We all know someone who has been taken from us due to the mighty power of second-hand smoke.

The best thing we can do for them and Maggie is to blow smoke right down her chimney.

Platty's Editor Note: Virginia Slims cigarette paper now ribbed for her pleasure.

Home

Other Works by the Author!

TOOL: Ænima 10/10/21
IMMORTAL: Northern Chaos Gods 10/01/21
AT THE GATES: Slaughter of the Soul 09/22/21
WINDS: The Imaginary Direction of Time 09/16/21
THYRFING: Vanagandr 09/09/21
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 09/04/21
Man, Taint Rips Victims Like Swayze Arrested! 08/29/21
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 08/26/21
Ghost Dick Haunts Huntington Beach Marriott! 08/22/21
Tide Releases Meat-Based Laundry Detergent! 08/17/21
Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke! 08/16/21
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 08/12/21
Fantasy Sports Gamer Lands on DL, Will Miss Season! 08/04/21
P & R Tired of Q’s Shit! 08/03/21
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 07/31/21
Ginger Woman Sells Her Soul to The Devil! 07/28/21
Private Investigator Is A Real Dick! 07/25/21
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 07/24/21
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 07/17/21
Man Suffers from Covid-Penis! 07/14/21

 

About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.