Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019


breaking news

Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace!
Publish Date: December 02, 2019
Author: Dawn Keybawls

Mary Smith has always lived in the city.

She spent her whole life bottled up in a massive downtown skyscraper surrounded by her building security.

Her choice of wood has always been questioned.

Her friends and family being the first in line attempt to get her to understand that she needs quality wood in her fireplace.

Hot Wood is stinky and generally shit covered wood that won’t last for more than 10 minutes.

Mary has been stuffing her fireplace with nasty stinky dirty Hot Wood for years.

Her friends want her to experience good, solid, hearty wood. They know she can do better.

Please be true to your friends this holiday season and do not stuff Hot Wood into your fireplace.

Get some good quality wood and respect yourself.

Platty's Editor Note: I don’t know, the ancient question. Quantity or Quality?

Other Titles by Dawn Keybawls Released
Burger King Introduces New BK Turkey Fries! 11/15/19
Man Hopes Everyone Sees His Bladder Control Underwear! 11/03/19
Man Robs Peter to Pay Paul Because Peter Is an Asshole! 11/23/19
President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman! 10/07/19
President Claims Only Finger Tip Went into Ukraine’s Presidents Ass! 09/29/19
White Man with Tan Accused of Brownface! 09/22/19
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 12/07/19
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 12/02/19
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 09/14/19

First Name:

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

Last Name: