October 18, 2021

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811? Local Man Is No Pussy and Digs Anyways!

Anna Phalaxis 
August 10, 2021 

We have all heard of 911 and to call when there is an emergency.

We also know about 411 when we needed to find a phone number or business address.

We can’t forget about 311 the shitty rock band where we to need to “Come Original”.

But 811?  We need to call before we dig?

I asked a local man that goes by the name “Jimmy the Snake” and he said he has dug many holes and has not caused any issues.

He has many years’ experience in the human waste disposal business.

“I’ve dug small holes and I’ve dug very large holes and not once did I hit anything underground. Most of the holes I dig are many miles away from anyone.” Jimmy the Snake explained.

He is looking at me with a weird look in his eyes...

Platty's Editor Note: I received this from Anna late last night. I've called Anna all morning and not heard from her. If anyone knows of Anna's whereabouts, please don’t hesitate to contact us.


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About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.