Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Student Gets His Ass Kicked on Buddy Bench!
Publish Date: November 20, 2019
Author: Oopsai Scharted

Each balloon is a victim of a vicious Buddy Bench beatdown.

When the teachers are not watching the bench, all hell breaks loose.

Local schools are installing surveillance systems to make sure these benches do not become death traps.

It started out with lots of promise but soon turned into a cesspool of kid predators striking the weak for the quick and easy kill.

They swoop in and deliver the beating and disappear into the background while their victim is left dazed and confused.

The Buddy Bench has become the Beat Down Bench.

There are rumors kids are offering bribes to teachers and the school’s IT department.

The attacks are happening when teachers are not on duty and surveillance systems are down for maintenance.

Platty's Editors Note:  Seriously, if you know someone is being bullied. Do something about it you fucking pussy!

Other Titles by Oopsai Scharted Released
Man’s Best Is Shown When Shot Gunning A Beer! 12/08/19
Piss Jugs Remembered at Roadside Memorial! 11/13/19
Sewage Treatment Plant Preparing for The Days Following Thanksgiving! 11/28/19
Student Gets His Ass Kicked on Buddy Bench! 11/20/19
Teenager Dreams of Becoming Xylophonist in Metal Band! 11/02/19
White Man Finally Installs Button Under Desk That Locks His Office Door! 11/04/19

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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