Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Man is Approaching His Last Fuckable Day!
Publish Date: November 17, 2019
Author: Benjamin Dover

Peter Johnson is turning 63 and he know his last fuckable day is coming.

Younger girls with daddy issues are looking for men in their 40 and 50’s but they don’t have granddaddy issues so men in their 60’s are out of the question.

Women his age don’t want anything to do with him as he is a single man and women assume there is something wrong with him and they don’t want a one night stand.

His penis has been down lately, but Peter has been trying to keep the little guys spirits up by giving it hope that somewhere there is a woman that wants to spend some time with him.

He knows his package is not the package it once was. Parts are not as tight, and he know the temperature of the toilet water when seated at the toilet. Things are hanging lower these days.

Prescription products help his package but it’s really hard when he is flying solo.

His forearms usually give out first.

This is why he knows his last fuckable day countdown has begun.

Platty's Editor Note: I grew a beard thinking it would say 'Distinguished Gentleman.' Instead, turns out it says, 'Senior Discount, Please!'

Other Titles by Benjamin Dover Released
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Maker of KIND Create New HATE Bars! 10/05/19
Man Addicted to The Hokey Pokey Finally Turns His Life Around! 08/24/19
Man is Approaching His Last Fuckable Day! 11/17/19
Man Stops Believing. Gets Angry Phone Call from Journey! 08/17/19
Man, Thinks His Ankles Can Shine Since Switching to Low Cut Socks! 07/28/19
Nascar Driver Dreams of Turning Right! 12/07/19
New Juiced Bike Racing League: Tour Deez Small Nutz! 07/11/19
Old White Man Wants America to be Great Again! 10/17/19
Otter Pops Introduces New Urine Otter Pops! 06/19/19
President Said It’s Not A Sub Penis! 11/30/19
Rare Photo of Airport that Continental Army Took Over During Revolutionary War! 07/06/19
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White Man Claims Business Name 'Cracker Barrel' is an Ethnic Slur! 07/23/19
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White Peacock Tired of Being Called a Goddamn Albino! 08/01/19
Woman is too Lazy to Cancel Her Gym Membership! 09/07/19
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