July 04, 2020
Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!
Man Worries His Murder Won't Be Covered by Local News!
April 24, 2020
Dennis Craig knows he will be murdered soon. He hasn’t done anything shady and leads a decent life.
He is kind to his neighbors and to his friends, but he knows that someone is going to kill him.
He is worried that the local news will overlook his murder.
His mentioned that his parents will be very proud of him that his murder made the news.
Just like when he was in high school and lead his football team to the championship.
However, it has been years since he was in the local news or its newspaper.
He is hoping his murder changes that.
He wants to bring happiness to his parents one last time.
Dennis has been sending letters and emails to local news channels to please cover his murder.
He said his parents have one remaining spot on his wall of fame and that is reserved for the news clipping of his death.
Platty's Editor Note: How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.
He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.
He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.