Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

White Man Has Happy Feelings Because He Might Help The Homeless!
Publish Date: November 11, 2019
Author: Benjamin Dover

Christian Dankworth is extremely happy today.

He has an extra bounce to his step.

That extra step comes from being inspired to do something nice for someone today.

He wants to help the homeless.

Wanting and doing are two different things and that’s why Christian is a douche bag.

Christian is a worthless scumbag who will not help anyone including the homeless.

A homeless woman asked for change and he claims he doesn’t have any. We all know he does because he had his hand in his pocket shuffling it around.

He gets a sense of personal pride mulling over possibly of giving the homeless woman the change but that’s all it takes to make him feel happy.

Therefore, he is a punk ass arrogant piece of fake shit. Punch this guy in the face the next time you see him.

Platty's Editor Note: I have found the key to happiness. Stay away from happy assholes!

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Man, Thinks His Ankles Can Shine Since Switching to Low Cut Socks! 07/28/19
Nascar Driver Dreams of Turning Right! 12/07/19
New Juiced Bike Racing League: Tour Deez Small Nutz! 07/11/19
Old White Man Wants America to be Great Again! 10/17/19
Otter Pops Introduces New Urine Otter Pops! 06/19/19
President Said It’s Not A Sub Penis! 11/30/19
Rare Photo of Airport that Continental Army Took Over During Revolutionary War! 07/06/19
The South To Be Penetrated Hard By Storm Richard! 06/21/19
White Man Claims Business Name 'Cracker Barrel' is an Ethnic Slur! 07/23/19
White Man Has Happy Feelings Because He Might Help The Homeless! 11/11/19
White Peacock Tired of Being Called a Goddamn Albino! 08/01/19
Woman is too Lazy to Cancel Her Gym Membership! 09/07/19
Woman Walking for A Cure for Alzheimer’s Forgets Why She is Walking! 08/11/19

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About Platty

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He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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