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Melania Launches New Lumpy Cheesy Bread & Yeast Consumer Products!

Publish Date: February 19, 2020
Author: Mike Litorus

My uncle Moe Lester hooked me up with my first ever article for PlattyPress.com. My generous uncle sent me some cheesy bread and yeast samples. There is mention of trying out the products and writing my review.

The cheesy bread was too salty and not very good at all. This is not off to a good start.

The cheese bread packaging is very basic with some melted lumpy cheese on some Cresent bread. Melania’s face is right next to the cheese. The yeast packets are just as basic with the title of “Melania’s Yeast” and a picture of her face. 

What am I going to make with the yeast? Pretzels? Bagels? I’m going with Donuts.

I used my home-made recipe for high rise yeast donuts. They were delicious.  I added some of my own glaze, another home-made hand rubbed recipe.

The bread could use some extra flavor as it seems old and tired but the yeast worked very well. I'll bake with Melania's Yeast anytime!

I took another look at the packages and read the small print. “Made from humans - Human Microbe Cheese and Human-Derived Probiotics and Yeast.”

Damn you uncle Moe! I know why you passed on this article. I'd still bake with Melania any day!

Platty's Editor Note: Things could get toasty between Moe and Mike.I hope this isn't a loaf or death situation. Loaf is all you need! Either way, this is a crumby place to work.

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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