April 01, 2020

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Oopsai Scharted

Born: 01/01/1900
Died: Still Alive
About Oopsai Scharted:

She said she only farted but do not believe her. She totally shit herself.

She is as old as shit.

She makes the best banana bread.

Do not drink her hot chocolate.

She loves her dead husband.


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Asshole Went To Kay Instead of Jared! 02/24/20
Cruise Ship Photographed Tossing Coronavirus People Overboard! 03/11/20
Elizabeth Warren Yells ‘I’ll Cut a Bitch!’ Directly at Bernie Sanders! 01/19/20
Gamers Are NOT Athletes! 02/10/20
Hot Chick Now Has to Pay for Alcohol Due to Bars Closing! 03/22/20
Man Cursed with Copious Non-Smelling Farts! 12/24/19
Man Looking to Get Laid at Hooker Furniture! 01/08/20
Man Quarantines Himself with A Case of Coronavirus! 02/17/20
Man’s Best Is Shown When Shot Gunning A Beer! 12/08/19
Mr. Peanut Confirmed Cannibal. Thousands of Peanut Shells Found in Basement! 01/26/20
New England is Tired of 12 Inches and Prefers 6! 03/02/20
Piss Jugs Remembered at Roadside Memorial! 11/13/19
Sewage Treatment Plant Preparing for The Days Following Thanksgiving! 11/28/19
Student Gets His Ass Kicked on Buddy Bench! 11/20/19
Super Bowl 54 Prediction: White Man Slaughters Native Americans Again! 02/02/20
Teenager Dreams of Becoming Xylophonist in Metal Band! 11/02/19
Tween’s Nightmare Triggered While Using Dad’s Computer! 12/19/19
White Man Finally Installs Button Under Desk That Locks His Office Door! 11/04/19
Woman Suffers From CDO. The Alphabetical Order OCD! 01/02/20

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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