February 25, 2021

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

About the Author!

Oopsai Scharted


Born: 01/01/1900
Died: Still Alive
About Oopsai Scharted:

She said she only farted but do not believe her. She totally shit herself.

She is as old as shit.

She makes the best banana bread.

Do not drink her hot chocolate.

She loves her dead husband.


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Other Works by the Author!

Asshole Went To Kay Instead of Jared! 08/28/20
Bill Belichick Cannot Contain Himself After Latest Bye! 10/12/20
Cold Weather to Blame for Y Chromosome Shrinkage! 08/15/20
Cruise Ship Photographed Tossing Coronavirus People Overboard! 03/11/20
Doctors Confirm Covid-19 Not Transferable Ass to Mouth! 10/16/20
Elizabeth Warren Yells ‘I’ll Cut a Bitch!’ Directly at Bernie Sanders! 01/19/20
Gamers Are NOT Athletes! 09/01/20
Hot Chick Now Has to Pay for Alcohol Due to Bars Closing! 03/22/20
Informational Graphic Has Too Many Fucking Arrows! 01/25/21
Instagram Yoga Instructors Show You Their Flexible Hoo-Ha’s! 10/26/20
LinkedIn Begins Positivity Campaign! 02/04/21
Louie-Bloo Because He Needed the Money! 08/29/20
Man Cursed with Copious Non-Smelling Farts! 06/05/20
Man Looking to Get Laid at Hooker Furniture! 07/20/20
Man Quarantines Himself with A Case of Coronavirus! 06/25/20
Man’s Best Is Shown When Shot Gunning A Beer! 06/03/20
Man’s Crevice Grows Bigger Thanks to Ocrevus! 12/15/20
Moxie, The Official Beverage Of 2020! 12/18/20
Mr. Peanut Confirmed Cannibal. Thousands of Peanut Shells Found in Basement! 01/26/20
Mute Woman Gifted an Alexa! 11/29/20
New Compatible PS5 / XBOX Controller Leaked! 09/12/20
New England is Tired of 12 Inches and Prefers 6! 02/10/21
Old Man Praying for Death Given Vaccine! 02/16/21
Pepsi Deploys Kendall Jenner to Ease Protest Tensions! 06/13/20
Piss Jugs Remembered at Roadside Memorial! 04/16/20
Redbox Adds Dick Suckers to Boost DVD Rentals! 12/29/20
Scumbag Lawyer Still Advertises on The Phone Book! 11/07/20
Senior Class of 2021 Votes Vagisil Favorite Lip Balm! 01/14/21
Sewage Treatment Plant Preparing for The Days Following Thanksgiving! 11/17/20
Student Gets His Ass Kicked on Buddy Bench! 04/30/20
Super Bowl 54 Prediction: White Man Slaughters Native Americans Again! 02/02/20
Teenager Dreams of Becoming Xylophonist in Metal Band! 09/25/20
Trump Counting on SCROTUM to Win Election! 09/27/20
Tween’s Nightmare Triggered While Using Dad’s Computer! 12/25/20
Wall of Moms Use to Being Sprayed with Liquids! 07/27/20
White American Cheese Is Better Than Orange! 11/30/20
White Man Finally Installs Button Under Desk That Locks His Office Door! 04/03/20
Wintersun Quietly Releases Time II! 05/06/20
Woman Only Enjoys Hugs from Behind! 11/14/20
Woman Robbed by Asian Man Wearing Mask! 04/27/20
Woman Sickened by Fly in Her Drink. Her Parasitic Worms Reciprocate Feeling! 05/13/20
Woman Suffers From CDO. The Alphabetical Order OCD! 01/02/20
 

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.