Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Moe Lester

Born: 02/04/1955
Died: Still Alive
About Moe Lester:

Cats are allergic to him.

He will eat green eggs and ham.

He doesn't believe in Oranges.

He likes to wear high heals.

People always swipe left.

You better not leave him with your kids!


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Daughter Butchers Parents Portrait! 07/31/19
405 Days To Retirement, Asshole Upping His Asshole Game! 06/27/19
Food Network Presents: Beat Off Bobby Flay! 09/10/19
Hims Side Effect: Extra Arm Growth! 06/26/19
Hot Pockets Have 30% More Cheese! Brings Total To 30% Cheese! 09/01/19
Kinky American Diplomat Looking for Next Prisoner Swap! 12/08/19
Man Is on His 8th Attempt to Pick Up Piece of Paper Off the Floor! 08/12/19
Man Worries His Murder Won't Be Covered by Local News! 11/16/19
Man, Assplodes On Toilet Adjacent to Family Room During Prayer! 10/13/19
Man, Never Sees Wife After Bidet with Feminine Wash Installed! 07/16/19
Man’s Cheesy Meatballs Explode All Over Your Mom’s Grill! 09/02/19
Melania Confirms Presidential Load Lumpy Oily Cheese Sauce! 06/20/19
Mrs. Claus Gifted Pearl Necklace for Christmas! 12/01/19
President Nutted When Crowd Chanted 'Send Her Back!' 07/20/19
President Trump Wants to Show You His 'OH' Face! 11/24/19
Ross Perot Finally Fucking Finished! 07/10/19
Trump’s Air Emissions Panel Are Breathing Through Their Derriere! 09/21/19
White Deviant Sexual Predator Wishes Matt Lauer Was Back on The Today Show! 08/18/19
Wife is Out of Town, Husband Tries to Masturbate Like a Teen Again! 11/10/19

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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