February 25, 2021

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

About the Author!

Moe Lester


Born: 02/04/1955
Died: Still Alive
About Moe Lester:

Cats are allergic to him.

He will eat green eggs and ham.

He doesn't believe in Oranges.

He likes to wear high heals.

People always swipe left.

You better not leave him with your kids!


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Other Works by the Author!

Accept Tired of Having Their Balls to the Wall...Man! 10/03/19
All White Oreos is What America Needs! 08/19/20
Bill Belichick Cannot Contain Himself After Latest Tie! 10/18/20
Boeing Employees Killing It with New Software Upgrades! 09/19/20
CDC Recommends Washing Hands Over Open Flames! 09/29/20
CDC Warns Limit of 5 People in Orgy Due to Coronavirus! 10/31/20
Cheese Explodes All Over Microwave Cover’s Tits! 04/17/20
Color Blind Man Sees Porn in Color for The First Time! 07/28/20
Covid-18 Jealous of 19’s Success! 10/02/20
Dad Misses Yelling at His Kids Like He Did When They Were Younger! 04/21/20
Daughter Butchers Parents Portrait! 07/31/19
-36 Days To Retirement, Asshole Upping His Asshole Game! 06/27/19
Donald Sutherland’s Eyebrows Revealed As the True Old-Fashioned Cocksucker! 11/18/20
Food Network Presents: Beat Off Bobby Flay! 02/14/20
Heroin Addict Also Tai-Chi Addict! 05/14/20
Hims Side Effect: Extra Arm Growth! 06/26/19
Hot Pockets Have 30% More Cheese! Brings Total To 30% Cheese! 01/31/20
Husband Loves to Eat His Wife’s Juicy Taco! 01/28/21
Husband Uses Flex Paste on His Wife’s Massive Crack! 11/02/20
IT Tech Working at Home Still Required to Wear Company Swag! 09/17/20
Kinky American Diplomat Looking for Next Prisoner Swap! 12/08/19
Man Attempts Flight After Drinking Bottle of Aviation Gin! 06/12/20
Man Believes Instagram is a Cocaine Delivery Service! 07/23/20
Man Hides Easter Eggs Under Piles of Dog Shit! 03/03/20
Man is Bleeding Way Too Much to Get Band-aid on! 01/23/20
Man Is on His 8th Attempt to Pick Up Piece of Paper Off the Floor! 03/12/20
Man is Very Trusting of His Farts! 10/01/20
Man Makes Impromptu Face Mask from Snotty Handkerchief! 10/24/20
Man Makes Mask from Wife’s Used Panties! 05/11/20
Man Wants to Be Your Next Childcare Provider! 07/04/20
Man Worries His Murder Won't Be Covered by Local News! 04/24/20
Man, Assplodes On Toilet Adjacent to Family Room During Prayer! 10/13/19
Man, Never Sees Wife After Bidet with Feminine Wash Installed! 02/15/20
Man, With Concussion Smacked Awake by Paramedics! 02/18/21
Man, With Positive Blood Type Is Always Fucking Negative! 12/06/20
Man’s Alibi for Murder; He Was Busy Killing Someone Else! 06/23/20
Man’s Cheesy Meatballs Explode All Over Your Mom’s Grill! 07/14/20
Man’s Just a Fatty, Jizzy, Meat Bag of Emotions! 02/20/21
Melania Confirms Presidential Load Lumpy Oily Cheese Sauce! 06/20/19
Mrs. Claus Gifted Pearl Necklace for Christmas! 12/08/20
Murderer Only Slays Vagina! 01/29/21
Murderer Tests His Cleaning Skills by Taking Home DNA Test! 06/15/20
Parents Thankful the Right Kid Died! 12/01/20
President Nutted When Crowd Chanted 'Send Her Back!' 07/20/19
President Trump says Mayhem is Coming to Town! 01/06/21
President Trump Wants to Show You His 'OH' Face! 05/29/20
Ross Perot Finally Fucking Finished! 07/10/19
Sports Analyst: Let’s See That Gruesome Injury in Super Slow Motion! 12/20/20
TLC Creating Scary Terminator Fembot Dodgeball Players! 10/04/20
Trump’s Air Emissions Panel Are Breathing Through Their Derriere! 09/21/19
White Deviant Sexual Predator Wishes Matt Lauer Was Back on The Today Show! 02/03/20
Wife is Out of Town, Husband Tries to Masturbate Like a Teen Again! 04/09/20
Woman Is A Bloody Cunt! 01/03/21
Woman Leaves Pubes on Every Toilet She Uses! 07/06/20
Woman Orders Tootsie Pop Licking Machine! 02/08/21
Woman’s Double Penetration Sex Toy for Sale! 08/05/20
Woman’s Tootsie Pop Requires 364 Licks! 01/19/21
 

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.