February 28, 2021

Entertaining You On The Shitter Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

About the Author!

Dawn Keybawls


Born: 04/26/1972
Died: Still Alive
About Dawn Keybawls:

She usually acts like a complete ass.

Her balls are bigger than yours!

She loves to eat all day.

You will never see her eating carrots, apples or bananas.

She is one stubborn ass!


Home

Other Works by the Author!

“Not the Mama” Grew Up to Be an Asshole! 09/23/20
2020 Senior Skip Day is Actually Going to School! 05/16/20
Agoraphobic Finally Feels Comfortable in Public! 02/22/21
Asshole Walmart Greeter Watches Woman Pay but Scans Receipt Anyways! 01/12/20
Burger King Introduces New BK Turkey Fries! 04/23/20
Childs Life Started with A Big Bang! 03/09/20
Denny’s Mobile Relief Truck Overtaken by Drunk College Students! 05/19/20
Fantasy Sports Gamer Lands on DL, Will Miss Season! 12/27/20
Ginger Woman Sells Her Soul to The Devil! 08/26/20
Guitarist’s Girlfriend Loves How He Fingers Her Guitar! 06/09/20
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 09/04/20
Husband Insists Being Called Motherfucker! 12/12/20
Lame Stoner Drools into Bong Again! 09/07/20
Lindt Master Chocolatier Uses His Own Hot Cream! 10/21/20
Man Does Everything He Can to Get Out of Doing Anything! 06/16/20
Man Hopes Everyone Sees His Bladder Control Underwear! 04/01/20
Man Robs Peter to Pay Paul Because Peter Is an Asshole! 11/23/19
Man Suffers from Covid-Penis! 10/15/20
Man, Lost His Taste Due to Covid; Can Finally Eat His Wife’s Pussy! 02/25/21
Man, Taint Rips Victims Like Swayze Arrested! 02/13/21
Man’s Balls Immediately Hurt When Talking About Vasectomy! 12/22/20
Man’s Hairline Looking Like A Patch of Pubes! 07/26/20
Man’s Johnson Grows After Johnson & Johnson Vaccine! 02/27/21
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 07/02/20
Neti Pot Challenge! Woman Starts Hot Sauce Rinse! 01/23/21
Orgy Fest 2020 Still on Amid Covid-19. Theme: Fuck It! 10/23/20
P & R Tired of Q’s Shit! 02/02/21
Planned Parenthood Recommends Using Rear Entry! 08/10/20
President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman! 03/16/20
President Claims Only Finger Tip Went into Ukraine’s Presidents Ass! 09/29/19
Private Investigator Is A Real Dick! 11/26/20
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 07/31/20
Santa Came in Record Number of Chimneys and Back Doors! 12/24/20
Shitty Web Application Yearns for Acceptance! 11/09/20
Sometimes It Just Takes A Good Whacking! 01/09/21
Steroids; Great for Everything Except Living Creatures! 11/24/20
Teacher Misses Having Sex with Her Students! 12/03/20
Tide Releases Meat-Based Laundry Detergent! 01/10/21
Trump Says We Are Removing the Plague. But He Is Still Here! 11/12/20
Vegetation Secretly Farming Humans for Food! 08/23/20
Victoria's Secret? Her Penis! 02/05/20
White Man with Tan Accused of Brownface! 02/21/20
Woman Bakes Bread Using Vaginal Yeast! 05/25/20
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 05/27/20
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 05/28/20
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 03/04/20
Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke! 05/01/20
 

About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.