October 18, 2021

Entertaining You Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

About the Author!

Dawn Keybawls


Born: 04/26/1972
Died: Still Alive
About Dawn Keybawls:

She usually acts like a complete ass.

Her balls are bigger than yours!

She loves to eat all day.

You will never see her eating carrots, apples or bananas.

She is one stubborn ass!


Home

Other Works by the Author!

TOOL: Ænima 10/10/21
IMMORTAL: Northern Chaos Gods 10/01/21
AT THE GATES: Slaughter of the Soul 09/22/21
WINDS: The Imaginary Direction of Time 09/16/21
THYRFING: Vanagandr 09/09/21
Woman Hoping the Next iPhone Is A Pleasure Model! 09/04/21
Man, Taint Rips Victims Like Swayze Arrested! 08/29/21
Woman Cannot Wait to Be Spatchcocked Tonight! 08/26/21
Ghost Dick Haunts Huntington Beach Marriott! 08/22/21
Tide Releases Meat-Based Laundry Detergent! 08/17/21
Woman is Addicted to Secondhand Smoke! 08/16/21
Mid Forties Man Okay Being Subject of Taylor Swift’s Next Hit Tune! 08/12/21
Fantasy Sports Gamer Lands on DL, Will Miss Season! 08/04/21
P & R Tired of Q’s Shit! 08/03/21
Racist Drummer Refuses to Play Black Metal! 07/31/21
Ginger Woman Sells Her Soul to The Devil! 07/28/21
Private Investigator Is A Real Dick! 07/25/21
Woman Excited to Put Hot Wood into Her Fireplace! 07/24/21
Heineken 0.0 Dumped and Filled with Real Beer! 07/17/21
Man Suffers from Covid-Penis! 07/14/21
Man’s Johnson Grows After Johnson & Johnson Vaccine! 07/12/21
Man’s Hairline Looking Like A Patch of Pubes! 07/08/21
Planned Parenthood Recommends Using Rear Entry! 07/04/21
Man Does Everything He Can to Get Out of Doing Anything! 07/02/21
Sushi Identifies as SuThey or SuThem! 06/30/21
Denny’s Mobile Relief Truck Overtaken by Drunk College Students! 06/28/21
Lame Stoner Drools into Bong Again! 06/09/21
Man Hopes Everyone Sees His Bladder Control Underwear! 05/20/21
Neti Pot Challenge! Woman Starts Hot Sauce Rinse! 05/14/21
Man Robs Peter to Pay Paul Because Peter Is an Asshole! 04/23/21
Guitarist’s Girlfriend Loves How He Fingers Her Guitar! 03/21/21
Butt Chin is Just A Cock Holder! 03/12/21
Man, Lost His Taste Due to Covid; Can Finally Eat His Wife’s Pussy! 02/25/21
Agoraphobic Finally Feels Comfortable in Public! 02/22/21
Sometimes It Just Takes A Good Whacking! 01/09/21
Santa Came in Record Number of Chimneys and Back Doors! 12/24/20
Man’s Balls Immediately Hurt When Talking About Vasectomy! 12/22/20
Husband Insists Being Called Motherfucker! 12/12/20
Teacher Misses Having Sex with Her Students! 12/03/20
Steroids; Great for Everything Except Living Creatures! 11/24/20
Trump Says We Are Removing the Plague. But He Is Still Here! 11/12/20
Shitty Web Application Yearns for Acceptance! 11/09/20
Orgy Fest 2020 Still on Amid Covid-19. Theme: Fuck It! 10/23/20
Lindt Master Chocolatier Uses His Own Hot Cream! 10/21/20
“Not the Mama” Grew Up to Be an Asshole! 09/23/20
Vegetation Secretly Farming Humans for Food! 08/23/20
Woman Bakes Bread Using Vaginal Yeast! 05/25/20
2020 Senior Skip Day is Actually Going to School! 05/16/20
Burger King Introduces New BK Turkey Fries! 04/23/20
President Believes a Whistleblower is a Felatious Woman! 03/16/20
Childs Life Started with A Big Bang! 03/09/20
White Man with Tan Accused of Brownface! 02/21/20
Victoria's Secret? Her Penis! 02/05/20
Asshole Walmart Greeter Watches Woman Pay but Scans Receipt Anyways! 01/12/20
President Claims Only Finger Tip Went into Ukraine’s Presidents Ass! 09/29/19

 

About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.