September 24, 2021

Entertaining You Since 2019!

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

About the Author!

Benjamin Dover


Born: 11/22/1958
Died: Still Alive
About Benjamin Dover:

His homemade buttermilk contains no butter.

He is the only man that can lick his own elbow.

He has an inny when it gets cold outside.

He will always get the soap off the floor in a prison shower.

Jeans are his favorite pants.

He loves running naked, backward, in a corn field.


Home

Other Works by the Author!

CHILDREN OF BODOM: Hatebreeder 09/18/21
FALCONER: From a Dying Ember 09/12/21
Manager Enjoys Stories of Nonconsensual Sexual Accusations from Employees! 09/06/21
Man, With Bad Teeth Can Finally Smile! 08/31/21
Find Your Murdering Potential with Murder23andMe! 08/28/21
Maker of KIND Create New HATE Bars! 08/23/21
Husband's Gum Disease Cured by Wife’s Ejaculate! 08/23/21
Dan Marino Still Hocking Fucking Isotoner Gloves! 08/17/21
Listen to My Shitty Podcast Says Another C List Celebrity! 08/13/21
Man Prepares Pre-Fuck Checklist! 08/10/21
Food Network Renamed to The Guy Fieri Network! 08/02/21
Hospital Installs Chute to Outdoor Freezer! 07/31/21
Prisoner Treats Himself to Personal Conjugal Visit! 07/30/21
Man Needs His Readers to Trim His Pubes! 07/28/21
Logger Has A Huge Log! 07/24/21
Woman Hasn’t Gotten Off Since Fred! 07/19/21
Woman Has A Giant Hole! 07/13/21
Some Cures Are Worth the Diarrhea! 07/11/21
White Man Claims Business Name 'Cracker Barrel' is an Ethnic Slur! 07/07/21
We Be Them! This Is Us Urban Blight Edition! 07/04/21
Wash Your Hands Before and After Masturbation! 06/28/21
Man is Approaching His Last Fuckable Day! 06/23/21
Wife Is Awaiting In and Out; Husband Has Been Waiting Months! 06/13/21
New Strain Found in Drunken State! 06/08/21
It's 11:11, A Family Spirit is Watching So Stop Masturbating! 06/03/21
Hundreds of Mistresses Mourn Fallen Basketball Star! 05/20/21
Nascar Driver Dreams of Turning Right! 05/04/21
White Man Has Happy Feelings Because He Might Help The Homeless! 05/01/21
Uncle Ben's Renamed Uncle Cracker's! 02/24/21
All These Damn Streaming Services and Nothing Is On! 02/21/21
Knee Injury Derails Couple’s Doggy Style! 02/07/21
Woman Loves to Smoke Sausage! 01/31/21
Restaurants Start Taking Customers Temperatures Rectally! 12/30/20
Uncle Still Waiting for Nephew’s Facebook Acceptance! 12/07/20
Trump's Sad That His Poll Is Shrinking! 11/05/20
It’s November 3rd! Take Down Your Halloween Shit! 11/03/20
Man Is Ready to Fill in at the Meat Market! 10/30/20
Woman Walking for A Cure for Alzheimer’s Forgets Why She is Walking! 10/07/20
Bill Belichick Cannot Contain Excitement After Latest Win! 09/13/20
Superspreader Event is Not What It Seems! 09/05/20
Man, Thinks His Ankles Can Shine Since Switching to Low Cut Socks! 08/30/20
Old White Man Wants America to be Great Again! 08/06/20
Douchebag Takes Break from Computer to Use His Phone! 07/01/20
Trump Grants His Supporters Immunity from Covid-19! 06/30/20
Trump’s Foreplay Repertoire Includes Chokehold! 06/14/20
Trump Administration Agrees to Pay Reparations! 06/01/20
President Said It’s Not A Sub Penis! 05/07/20
White Peacock Tired of Being Called a Goddamn Albino! 03/10/20
Idiot Tomato Processing Owner Stuck on Idea From 40 Years Ago! 02/03/20
New Juiced Bike Racing League: Tour Deez Small Nutz! 01/22/20
Kid Enraged by Accidentally Eating Oatmeal Raisin Instead of Chocolate Chip Cookie! 12/11/19
Woman is too Lazy to Cancel Her Gym Membership! 09/07/19
Man Addicted to The Hokey Pokey Finally Turns His Life Around! 08/24/19
Man Stops Believing. Gets Angry Phone Call from Journey! 08/17/19
Rare Photo of Airport that Continental Army Took Over During Revolutionary War! 07/06/19
The South To Be Penetrated Hard By Storm Richard! 06/21/19
Otter Pops Introduces New Urine Otter Pops! 06/19/19

 

About Platty

He doesn't care about the satire news bullshit anymore and wants to only bring music reviews to the people.

He isn't the founder anymore of a old consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the music reviews that you don't want at any cost.