Just put it on my bill.

December 11, 2019

PlatyPress
PlatyPress

breaking news

Benjamin Dover

Born: 11/22/1973
Died: Still Alive
About Benjamin Dover:

His homemade buttermilk contains no butter.

He is the only man that can lick his own elbow.

He has an inny when it gets cold outside.

He will get the soap if in a prison shower.

Jeans are his favorite pants.


Other Titles by Benjamin Dover Released
Bill Belichick Cannot Contain Excitement After Latest Win! 09/19/19
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It’s November 3rd! Take Down Your Halloween Shit! 11/03/19
Maker of KIND Create New HATE Bars! 10/05/19
Man Addicted to The Hokey Pokey Finally Turns His Life Around! 08/24/19
Man is Approaching His Last Fuckable Day! 11/17/19
Man Stops Believing. Gets Angry Phone Call from Journey! 08/17/19
Man, Thinks His Ankles Can Shine Since Switching to Low Cut Socks! 07/28/19
Nascar Driver Dreams of Turning Right! 12/07/19
New Juiced Bike Racing League: Tour Deez Small Nutz! 07/11/19
Old White Man Wants America to be Great Again! 10/17/19
Otter Pops Introduces New Urine Otter Pops! 06/19/19
President Said It’s Not A Sub Penis! 11/30/19
Rare Photo of Airport that Continental Army Took Over During Revolutionary War! 07/06/19
The South To Be Penetrated Hard By Storm Richard! 06/21/19
White Man Claims Business Name 'Cracker Barrel' is an Ethnic Slur! 07/23/19
White Man Has Happy Feelings Because He Might Help The Homeless! 11/11/19
White Peacock Tired of Being Called a Goddamn Albino! 08/01/19
Woman is too Lazy to Cancel Her Gym Membership! 09/07/19
Woman Walking for A Cure for Alzheimer’s Forgets Why She is Walking! 08/11/19

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About Platty

He is tired of your fake news bullshit and wants to bring the real news to the people.

He is the founder of a new consortium called the NeoDemoRepublicLiberTeaConserveAsshole Party.

He brings the news that you don't want at any cost.

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